I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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