Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I smell stomach acid.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
