My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
