BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
how drunk are you?
Several
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
