i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
