The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
he fucked my hip out of place.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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