all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
