i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
my shit smells like andre
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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