Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
