She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
