Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
