fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
cat food counts as protein by the way
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
