You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
