I am puke
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
