He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
