sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
