lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
