I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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