We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
