Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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