hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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