Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
3pm strippers are depressing
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
