im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
