what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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