we have officially mastered the walk of shame
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
