I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
