I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
