dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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