I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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