Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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