he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
