just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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