Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
