Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize