I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I'm just crazy horny about you
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
