omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
