im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
