butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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