Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I need to align my fucking chakras
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
