Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
