sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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