What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
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