i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
