idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
