Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
