Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
