my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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