Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
