What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
