That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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